The ANDY Project

For those familiar with my war against Heroin and other potentially fatal drugs left in the hands of the addict, the experimental user, the peer pressured teen, or simply, the uninformed,  I have decided to refocus my efforts.  Why?  This post will highlight those very reasons.

The ANDY Project stands for Avoiding Narcotic Deaths in our Youth and it is in its preliminary stages.  First of all, I will attempt to list as many influencing factors as I can that helped spark this new approach.  Secondly, I will describe how I intend to launch this project to our youth, parents, and educators.

My son died of what the coroner chose to phrase as an accidental drug overdose on January 16, 2004.  The accidental term is gut-wrenching to me.  It can bring so many things to mind.  "Andy didn't intend to die".  "He didn't know how much his poor body could withstand."  "He had no tolerance to the drug."  I could go on and on but even after all of these years, putting myself in that very moment is still driving a knife through my heart.

I bring up the year of his death for several reasons.

1) Eleven years ago, heroin was not a drug discussed in the suburbs.  "My child?  Heavens no!" Having watched Downton Abbey certainly highlighted the arrogance that existed between the inhabitants living below and above.  And as it existed then, I find that it exists to a greater extent now. The dismissal of parents to the likelihood that  their  child, living in either a middle class or upper class environment, would even touch "the stuff"  (i.e., pain killers, opiates, heroin) is part of the primary problem.

We knew the name of the drug dealer.  We knew that he sold to students in 9 suburban high schools and the 4 private schools in Shaker Heights and Hunting Valley.   I sent letters to all of the principals in an attempt to talk to the students, the teachers the parents.   After all,  my husband and I are Psychiatrists and we  talked openly to Andy and our other children about alcohol and marijuana.  We, too, were oblivious to the reality that Heroin was alive and well and killing our beautiful children here in the "safety" of the suburbs.  I wanted to bring the reality of Andy's death to the forefront.  I wanted to give warning that Heroin hides in the shadows of every community.  I wanted to discuss "red flags"

My own son's alma mater would not grant an assembly.  My gratitude to Universtiy School and Orange High School for acknowledging the Heroin epidemic.  Otherwise, Cuyahoga County was not receptive to the Andy Foundation or bother to extend an invite to any of my requests.  Even the county prosecutor would not take our case to court as he thought he might lose. (We were attempting to hold the drug dealer accountable for Andy's death).

It was the brave efforts and brilliant writing of Joanna Connors that brought our story to life.  Her 7 part series, Andy's Last Secret", appeared in the Plain Dealer on Mother's Day, 2005.  It can still be accessed on the website, Cleveland.com.

2)  The statistics of Heroin deaths have escalated since Andy's death despite efforts from local celebrities and community awareness programs.  As of 2007, Heroin deaths  outnumbered motor vehicle accidents in Cuyahoga County.  And in the state of Ohio, and estimated 4 people will die of a drug overdose today.  Why?

People are still in denial.  Drugs are also more accessible and lethal.  The drug cartel is now offering a heroin product mixed with Fentanyl.  The potency it far greater and their hopes in getting users hooked quickly is actually resulting in more fatalities.

3) On January 25, 2016,  I became trained in over-dose risk, prevention, and nasal Narcan administration by the Cuyahoga County Project Dawn.

First of all, Dawn was a young woman who lost her life to a heroin overdose.  Her story is narrated by her mother in the beginning of a powerful video that describes Project Dawn - Deaths Avoided With Naloxone.  In the video, the viewer is introduced to Naloxone (also known as Narcan), signs of an Opioid Overdose, how to respond to a suspected overdose, and the administration of intranasal naloxone.  It is an invaluable educational tool.

As a result of the above influencing factors, I am developing The Andy Project.  It is in the early stages, but I plan on further developing a video that includes my previous efforts combined with these newer approaches.  The video and access to nasal naloxone should be in the hands of every teen, parent, educator, and addict.

I am well aware of the criticism that may arise from this new approach to the Heroin Epidemic.  Initially I reacted negatively to the clean needle exchange that was offered to IV drug users to reduce the risk of HIV and AIDS.  Was it successful?  Yes.

I cannot fight the drug cartel.  I cannot prosecute drug dealers because as quickly as one is removed another is taking his or her place.  Actually, anyone who is brave or stupid enough to attempt this is just drawing a target on their back as well as jeopardizing the lives of loved ones.

I equate it to this.  Heroin is the water behind a great dam.  The rising water and the growing strength in its current is the drug cartel The dam, or the efforts to decrease it's flow or death from heroin, is as strong as its reinforcement.  The holes that develop in the dam are the drug dealers.  We put our finger in one hole to prevent the increasing jeopardy to the dam and another hole arises.  To date, efforts to bring this epidemic to the public's knowledge have done little or nothing to decrease the rising waters and the numerous holes in the dam.

Acknowledge that heroin is in your backyard.   That there may be a flood in your very home.  Why not have the ability to prevent that water from  rising or those holes from causing the drowning of a loved one.   Nasal Naloxone could be that life jacket, that life saver.

I am hoping to reach all of my friends in Ohio and elsewhere.  And I hope that you will share this blog.

I will keep everyone updated on the release of the video.  Thank you all for your support.

Andy's Mom, Elaine

Andy Would Like That

Today mark's the 12th anniversary of Andrew Psarras's death.  He was 19 years old when he made the last decision of his life.  He snorted Heroin and, according to his friend, became ill.  He laid on the bathroom floor as the decision was made to call the drug dealer rather than 911.  As the result of the poor decision of a friend, Andy's chances of survival, of being administered naloxone, of releasing the tight grasp that opioid had on my son's heart, were 0%.

Now you may ask why I began this tribute to Andy with such a dark vision.  It was necessary to explain where my mindset has been.

Though January 16th has been the most gut wrenching day of my life, my thoughts, my feelings, my grief process has been dominated with a mother's love.  It has defined who I am and it has given me the ability to focus on what is most important to me - that God given ability to nurture and to put my children above all else.

The events of that cold Friday and my response to them are very clear.  Although I was the mother of this precious child, my thoughts were now directed to my two older children.  Peter was in New York City with his band any Molly was at Miami U.  How could we tell them that their younger brother was dead?  How could we keep them safe on their journey home?

Molly collapsed when she heard the news.  Her friend drove her to Cleveland.   Peter was in a state of shock and was also accompanied by plane back home.

Once I had my children home I realized that I could not lessen their pain.  I could do nothing with the gaping hole in my heart either.  But I would not let them see me as a victim.  I would not give them cause to worry about their mother.  The most important lesson I learned from my Andy's death was that life would go on.  I had no idea how to accomplish this.  But as I mentioned in the beginning of this post, it was a challenge that I would strive to attain.  I was connected to my instincts as a mother.

The following day, I sat down to write his eulogy as did my husband.  God had given me the strength.  I was operating on Footsteps in the Sand at that time and my religious beliefs an spirituality had a new beginning that day.

I have written so often about the events of the funeral, how the minister cried and held us stating that he had never witnessed anything like it before.  It was not only for Andy that we stood with Love and a hope for Peace at his coffin,  but also for my children and my wonderful sisters and family.

Andy is at Peace.  I know this to be true.  And my fears of his dying alone on a bathroom floor were put to rest when the minister said, "God was the first to cry.  Andy did not die alone".

Peter and Molly are married and have families of their own.  They now have experienced the bond between a parent and a child.   And I guess this blog is meant for them.

I want you both to know that my love and devotion to you are limitless.  You are in my life and I am Blessed to be your Mom.  Please don't worry about me today.   It is I who worry about you.  He was your brother.  I just wanted to let you know that as long as we live and breathe, I will rejoice and be thankful for the joy that God has given to me and that I will always support you.

With regard to his friend, I had forgiven him the moment it happened.  I could never have pressed charges of neglect.  Andy loved him.  They were both responsible for making decisions that night that would forever change destiny.  His friend calls me Mom.  I am here for him too.

Andy was an animal lover.  He had brought a pit bull puppy that had little hope for survival home shortly before he died.  His friend took her and raised her with love.  This week he had to put her down.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and I know in my heart that Andy was at the other end of that bridge when Felony left your side.

None of us are protected on this earthy plain.   There will always be unexpected events that will challenge our Faith and take us to the limits of our coping process.   But as I have learned over the years,  the traumas and disappointments are inevitable.  The misery, loneliness, fear and hopelessness and all optional.

I have decided in honor of Andy who cherished life and ended phone calls with "Peace", to keep him ever-present with seeing the beauty in everyday and knowing that His Peace is ever present.

Andy would like that.