Rich and Famous

I have come to the conclusion that, despite recent opportunities of notoriety, I will never be rich and famous - that is by society standards.

Let me elaborate.  To the very few followers that I am indeed grateful to, you must be aware of the humiliation of my first book signing.  My experience had taught me that, to sell books, you have to spill a little of morning OJ on your manuscript to make it more "juicy."  (Oh, Elaine, that was too weak!)
Who cares?  My next book was to be entitled, My Life as a House.  I intend to add a subtitle - Without Curtains.


Now back to my lament.  My book signing at Barnes and Noble promised to be more successful.  There had been plenty of advertisement through the company.  Earlier that week I was asked to be an expert commentator on the nightly news regarding the Dark Knight Rises tragedy.  And the very day I was to sign my book, my picture appeared in Cleveland Magazine.  (Oh, Elaine, you're smokin'!)

Despite a hurricane-like storm that began minutes before my timed appearance, several people staggered, rather ran in.  Wow!  Could this be for me?  Why are they waiting in the vestibule?  Are there that many bargain books lined up out there?  Oh no.  They are soaked.  They are waiting for the storm to pass.  Hey people.  My motto is, "Don't wait for the storm to pass, learn to dance in the rain".  Can anybody hear me?  I wave to them.  Some acknowledge me with a nod.  Others just stare at the rain as it crescendos and beats against the beautiful flowers now bent to the ground.

In the midst of this water fest, I see a beautiful woman struggling with a large golf umbrella in one hand and a beautiful child in her arm already challenged by a diaper bag.  The child sees me, smiles, and extends his arms toward my table.  It is my grandson, Andrew, and my beautiful daughter, Molly.  Shortly following them is a man, dressed in my favorite color orange and drenched, holding a potted sunflower. It was my son-in-law, Jeremy.  Only my family knew that my Mom called my 3 sisters and I her flowers.  I was the sunflower, Eloise, the rose, Elyse, the daisy, and Ellen, the violet.  The flower was dripping but happy and was set to my side on the table.

Then my son, Peter, and his beautiful wife, Shirin, entered the store.  He had been so proud of this scheduled event that he put an announcement on his Facebook page.   And sure enough, in between his bringing me drinks from the Starbucks counter in the store, his friends made their appearance as promised.

And let us not forget "plumber Jim".  My husband wanted to rent a sign to wear so that he could walk up and down the boulevard announcing my presence inside.

I sold 7 books that evening.  Rich and Famous?  You bet!  God has given me more blessings than I could ever imagine.  If I never sell another, I will be forever grateful for my fame and fortune - as a woman, as a mother, and as a Ya-Ya.