HEALTH AND WELLNESS -Depression - Part 4 - Community Resources and Individual Supports

To my dear Baby Boomers,

Whether you have been one of the few who follow my blogsite or our just discovering it now, I do hope that you take the time to visit the past postings. This month has been devoted to depression, treatment options, suicide, and listing some community resources and individual supports. The decision to veer away from more fun topics like "four boobies" was based on two important facts. For the past two years, baby boomers between 46 and 54 years of age had the highest suicide completion rate. I am a psychiatrist and feel very competent in addressing underlying causes that might be responsible for this statistic. I love my generation. As a result, this blogsite was born and the topic of depression was the first I chose to tackle. In later blogs we will discuss substance abuse which is also a contributor to our generation making irrational and, at times, fatal decisions.

NAMI, the National Alliance of Mental Illness is an organization at the local, state, and national levels. It's missions statement is the following:

About NAMI: Support, Education, Advocacy, and Research

From its inception in 1979, NAMI has been dedicated to improving the lives of individuals and families affected by mental illness.

NAMI's support and public education efforts are focused on educating America about mental illness, offering resources to those in need, and insisting that mental illness become a high national priority. Mental illness is a serious medical illness that affects one in four families. No one is to blame. Treatment works, but only half of people living with mental illness receive treatment. NAMI has engaged in a variety of activities to create awareness about mental illness and promote the promise of recovery.

Find out more about NAMI advocacy efforts: It can be reached through the following web address: http://www.nami.org/template.cfm?section=your_local_nami.

NAMI also has a blog: http://blog.nami.org/

For individuals wanting a psychiatric assessment of their current problems and our fortunate to have insurance, either private or Medicare/Medicaid, the back of your insurance card or your county mental health department can assist you. For those who do not have insurance, again, the county mental health department can refer you to agencies able to meet your needs.

For emergency situations, call 911, If you are wanting to be connected to a suicide hotline, please call Call 1-800- SUICIDE / 1-800-784-2433; Call 1-800-273-TALK / 1-800-273-8255 .

How about individual support? That it another matter, my friends. It is a shame that baby boomers who have lived to our terrific ages may have limited friends, families or spouses who could prevent situations from snowballing.

Communication is key to any relationship, especially marriage. And trust is one of the most important elements of communication. It is so important to learn to listen. It says, "I value you". "You are important". Being available to one another shows your love, your caring. And your need to ventilate or discuss something that is painful may come at an inconvenient time. Believe me, I have learned that there are acceptable times and unacceptable times to communicate with my spouse. The problem is, I don't think we will be able to communicate about certain topics no matter what the ideal time or setting.

Any topic should be respected, especially if it is important to you. A patent answer of, "I won't go there" is painful to hear. It always causes myself a re-examination of my need to ventilate. This self-exam helps me determine if am "looking for an arguement" which I have been often accused of, or being some lunatic who can't let past problems go. After self-examination I often conclude that I am not so bad, may be justified, and might be dealing with someone feeling superior, or who places themselves on a higher spiritual plane. Well, that won't help, will it? So I have found a better solution that works for me and allows me to remain in my marriage.

This article is devoted to community support but the greatest support I have found is through my church and my ministers, Martin and Stephanie. I love my minister who once met with me during a state of suicidal thoughts and reassured my that the painful feelings I was experiencing were important enough to be acknowledged by my spouse. Because my spouse disagreed and choose to continue the "no visit this topic" attitude, I have been required to release myself from this pain in other ways.

First of all, forgiveness is an important action to release yourself from pain. There are no strings attached. It does not give the other person any authority over you. It actually allows you to recognize them as human beings that have similar flaws as yourself. My only wish is for reconciliation. This would require a recognition by the other party to understand the pain caused, an examination of their faults as well as your own, and a promise to try to continue to work on those concerns as a couple. Ah - we could actually achieve trust. Impossible when your pain and the topic associated with it is off-limits. So forgiveness has actually been enough for me. I am able to enjoy my family with no unrealistic expectations.

In addition to forgiveness, I have the support of a Stephen Minister and a wonderful therapist who used to serve as our marital therapist but has worked miracles with me on an individual basis. I have self-confidence and will never accept "I won't go there". The difference is, I pick my battles now, and realize a trusting relationship is not a possibility at this time.

It has come as a great discovery to me that the greatest support I have is ME thanks to all of the wonderful and caring people I have in my life. I hope that that rediscovery, that rebirth occurs to others in my generation. It is a beautiful think and makes life every day a gift - that's why they call it the Present.

Support of every kind is out there for you. And we never touched on substance abuse that can certainly add to the fire. You do not need to be an alcoholic or drug addict to visit a 12 step program. The import thing is the desire to stop drinking or, as they say, drugging. I have visited these programs and have met wonderful people and received invaluable information and support. Your mind will be clear to make the necessary decisions needed to move forward in a positive direction.

Do you have support in your life? Define it and appreciate it. If not, please contact the above agencies.

Next week I plan to address "No Regrets". Until then, Good Mental Health and Peace to you all. Dr. Elaine