Rich and Famous

I have come to the conclusion that, despite recent opportunities of notoriety, I will never be rich and famous - that is by society standards.

Let me elaborate.  To the very few followers that I am indeed grateful to, you must be aware of the humiliation of my first book signing.  My experience had taught me that, to sell books, you have to spill a little of morning OJ on your manuscript to make it more "juicy."  (Oh, Elaine, that was too weak!)
Who cares?  My next book was to be entitled, My Life as a House.  I intend to add a subtitle - Without Curtains.


Now back to my lament.  My book signing at Barnes and Noble promised to be more successful.  There had been plenty of advertisement through the company.  Earlier that week I was asked to be an expert commentator on the nightly news regarding the Dark Knight Rises tragedy.  And the very day I was to sign my book, my picture appeared in Cleveland Magazine.  (Oh, Elaine, you're smokin'!)

Despite a hurricane-like storm that began minutes before my timed appearance, several people staggered, rather ran in.  Wow!  Could this be for me?  Why are they waiting in the vestibule?  Are there that many bargain books lined up out there?  Oh no.  They are soaked.  They are waiting for the storm to pass.  Hey people.  My motto is, "Don't wait for the storm to pass, learn to dance in the rain".  Can anybody hear me?  I wave to them.  Some acknowledge me with a nod.  Others just stare at the rain as it crescendos and beats against the beautiful flowers now bent to the ground.

In the midst of this water fest, I see a beautiful woman struggling with a large golf umbrella in one hand and a beautiful child in her arm already challenged by a diaper bag.  The child sees me, smiles, and extends his arms toward my table.  It is my grandson, Andrew, and my beautiful daughter, Molly.  Shortly following them is a man, dressed in my favorite color orange and drenched, holding a potted sunflower. It was my son-in-law, Jeremy.  Only my family knew that my Mom called my 3 sisters and I her flowers.  I was the sunflower, Eloise, the rose, Elyse, the daisy, and Ellen, the violet.  The flower was dripping but happy and was set to my side on the table.

Then my son, Peter, and his beautiful wife, Shirin, entered the store.  He had been so proud of this scheduled event that he put an announcement on his Facebook page.   And sure enough, in between his bringing me drinks from the Starbucks counter in the store, his friends made their appearance as promised.

And let us not forget "plumber Jim".  My husband wanted to rent a sign to wear so that he could walk up and down the boulevard announcing my presence inside.

I sold 7 books that evening.  Rich and Famous?  You bet!  God has given me more blessings than I could ever imagine.  If I never sell another, I will be forever grateful for my fame and fortune - as a woman, as a mother, and as a Ya-Ya.

50 Shades of Red

As I reflect back on my life, I recall times when I felt a warm sensation that  highlighted my cheek area, for which I could claim too much blush, or a flaming red invasion that shamelessly knew no boundaries, encompassing my entire face and neck.  Embarrassment vs. Humiliation.  We have all experienced the body's autonomic reaction to a perceived moment of shyness or shame.

May I share my latest experience of embarrassment?  I am turning a red hue as I type.

I was delighted when asked to do a book signing at a quaint, locally owned book shop. It has managed to withstand the economy and the convenience of on-line shopping and savings of powerful chains.  Every passerby is drawn to the store, if just to smell the aroma of parchment or to have the wooden floor creak melodiously under foot.  It's a reminder of the old shops back in my hometown and, without reading a book, I am transported to a time of penny candy.  My pink Shwinn bike can sit on the sidewalk without a chain or body guard.  Sorry - I digressed.

The day of the event came with no fanfare.  A bright yellow paper was taped to the window announcing my presence and a discussion about the book between the hours of one and three.  On entering the shop, 2 copies of my book were displayed on a table with, again, the same bright yellow paper, only this time encased in a plastic cover.  I was directed to the back room.  Now for those unfamiliar with the layout of the store, the back room has a small alcove leading into it with lots of jig-saw puzzles on the wall.  The room is about the size of an average sized dining room.  As I stepped into the very organized room I was greeted by a small plate of cookies, an assortment of folding chairs, and a table, again displaying my book.  A worn, but very distinguished wooden chair, fit for a professor emeritus, waited for me.  Behind me, literally 18 inches behind me, was the NY Times best-selling books.  A pathway between the chairs and my table led to the locked staff bathroom.

I sat done with waited abandon.  I dug out the special pens that I just bought across the street at a darling card and gift shop.  The lady at the gift shop wanted to match the color of the pen to my book cover.  How sweet.  But the darn pen would not write.  Another pen stopped writing after 2 words.  A helper came over and they both determined that the whole batch of pens were unsuitable.  But they worked diligently to find two pens that at least were salvageable. They gave them to me without charge.

The day was hot - I mean 90 degrees hot.  That morning had brought a gentle rain which would have been perfect had it continued.  What a perfect invitation to browse.  But it cleared and left the pavement a bit steamy.  OK.  The shop was air-conditioned.  Would they know about the free cookies?

People began to trickle in the room.  Two patrons were mothers of small children that were permitted to use the staff bathroom.  One mother made eye contact with me and I smiled.  When her son finally came out of the bathroom, given several warnings by the shop owner not to stuff too much paper in the toilet, he had the good manners to approach me and ask about my book.  He was more impressed by the cover and asked if I "colored it" myself.  The child was so enamored that the mother actually bought a book.  Yeah!  My first sale.

The first hour went by slowly. I mean, it dragged.  My beautiful daughter, Molly, stopped by to give me support.  Now mind you, she possesses several copies of the book.  I was so devious.  I slipped her a twenty and said, "Go buy my book".  Pathetic.  Just pathetic.

Then the pace picked up.  Several people entered the room and walked straight toward me.  I would rise and extend my hand.  They would awkwardly accept my welcome to the NY Times best-selling section and then reach directly behind me for this popular book in trilogy form.  I endured this humiliation for the remainder of the second hour.  I was dressed in hot pink but, as you guessed, my face was wearing red.

At the end of my time - well, actually I had 8 minutes remaining but the stop owner was kind enough to rescue me - I picked up this "book of the hour" along with its 2 other sequels and proceeded to checkout.

I commented on the title and felt that it implied some spiritual theme.  He laughed at me and announced that he calls it Smut One, Two, and Three.  "Go ahead", he said.  Turn to any page and read.  Stupid me.  I did.  And as the shop owner stared at me to confirm that he was right, I magically turned more red.  "See"? he said.  So all afternoon, my book on feeling good about yourself was competing with REALLY feeling good.  I packed up my belongings and headed home.

As I thought about my experience I had to smile.  I am working on a series of books, too.  My Life as a...  The next book is about a house, with each room devoted to topics of health and wellness.  My master bedroom section was to deal with insomnia, erectile dysfunction, and peri-menopausal issues to name of few.  Now should I edit my work in progress?  Hmm...

Missing Andy - The Grief Process

Today is Andy's Birthday. He would have been 28 years old.  I am missing him so much.  He died at the age of 19, eight years ago. I used to grabbed my locket with Andy's picture in it. It had a lock of his hair tied with an orange ribbon - his favorite color. That was stolen from our home among many other items.  I mourned the loss of that locket.  It was a tangible connection to my son.  I have since realized that as I go to grab that part of my chest where the picture of Andy rested, my hand is now closer to my heart.  And that is where my son truly resides.  

I feel guilty having a life span that has tripled his. This earth would be such a better place with him being here, sharing his smile and saving animals. Sometimes I can get through the day, smiling when I think of him, and at other times, I can't catch my breath, like today. But I recover. That is part of the grieving process.

Grief is experienced differently by every one of us.  I never thought that I would survive the loss of a child.  It has changed my life forever.  The worst part of this journey was immediately after.  My husband and two older children huddled together in the family room and attempted to sleep that night.  I would doze off into a dreamland that still recognized my son as a beautiful, living, vibrant young man, saving animals and smiling to brighten my day.  When I awoke, the reality of his death came crushing down on me and I couldn't bear the pain.  I looked around at my family.  I knew that they, too, were suffering just as much.


Something unexplainable happened.  I felt a sense of strength that pulled me from that tear-stained couch.  I grabbed a piece of paper and pen and wrote his eulogy.  As I sat in the living room the next day, I sent up a prayer and thanked God for the "Footsteps in the Sand" experience that he was providing for me.  I promised Andy that we would go on.  I wanted to make my family whole again - just not my husband, Peter, and Molly, but my beautiful sisters and their families.  I would help his friends adjust to this tragedy and I would pledge my God-given talents to fighting drug and alcohol abuse among teens and young adults.


This journey has not been an easy one.  But I am writing this article to address grief during this month of Mental Health Awareness.


Allow your self to feel the shock, the pain, the grief, the anger, and the guilt.   Avoid the desire to withdrawal.  Know that these feeling and behaviors are more intense initially.  Accept support from others.  You might feel that no one understands what you are going through.  My sister-in-law lost her son to SIDS.  She organized the relatives that weekend into scrubbing down my kitchen.  It was a source of embarrassment for me as I was not the most immaculate housekeeper but it was also a source of catharsis. I had to laugh as I entered the kitchen and saw her recruits glance at me with a look of "save me".  


I found that my spirituality was heightened that day and it, along with family support, has given me the strength to carry on.  However, I know that others are not as fortunate.  


If grief evolves into a depression (see previous post devoted to this) please seek out a professional who can best provide you with the treatment you deserve.


I no longer look up at the sky and see dark clouds.  They always part for me to reveal the rainbow.  I know that its my Andy smiling down from heaven.  I miss you so much.  I will love you always.  Peace, my dear son.  Love, Mom

Am I Depressed?

May is Mental Health Awareness Month.  Therefore, the topics I will be posting this month are related to different mental health issues.  I will begin this month's topic with Depression -  an illness several of you may have experienced during your lifetime.  

What is depression? If you were to ask your friends or family, or be brave enough to conduct a survey of passing strangers on a street corner, I guarantee you would get a variety of different responses. That is because depression has become an umbrella term used by many individuals to describe a number of different moods ranging from "the blues" to a severe, debilitating state where nothing but suicide could end their pain. There is quite a gap between these two ends of the spectrum. So, let's begin by defining depression more clearly.

First of all, I am very grateful to have a person who is feeling "depressed" actually sitting in my office. Most of my patients who are depressed may be referred by their primary care provider (and may not follow through). Some are brought by a family member or friend, not necessarily willing to provide details to a complete stranger. Very few individuals come on their on volition. So, when I am given this opportunity, I better be able to diagnose my client correctly. 

As a psychiatrist, I rely on specific criteria to diagnosis an individual with a major depressive episode. The interview is critical in gathering the objective data. I rely on an acronym to obtain the necessary information - SIGECAPSS. This represents the following symptoms: (S) Sadness or depression; (I) lack of interest or anhedonia; (G) guilt, poor self-esteem, worthlessness; (E) loss of energy; (C) poor concentration; (A) changes in appetite, either increased or decreased; (P) psychomotor retardation or agitation - most likely observed by others ("All you do is sit around" or "You seem more edgy than usual"); (S) changes in sleep pattern, either increased or decreased; and, most importantly, (S) suicidal thoughts, plans, or intent. The DSM-IV manual (the psychiatrist's bible for establishing diagnoses) requires that at least five (or more) of the above symptoms have been present during the same 2-week period and represent a change from previous functioning; at least one of the symptoms is either (1) (S) depressed mood or (2) (I) loss of interest or pleasure. If the symptoms cause significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning such as family relationships then it becomes a major depressive disorder. I have also been required to rule out any medical condition that could contribute to depression (e.g. hypothyroidism), any concurrent use of alcohol or drugs that can influence or mimic some of the above symptoms, or bereavement symptoms that have not become more debilitating after a two month interval. I am not at all dismissing the depression that can be attributed to other general medical conditions, substance abuse, or pathological bereavement. These individuals are just diagnosed under  different terminologies. In addition, individuals with other mental illness, including bipolar disorder, schizoaffective disorder, or adjustment disorder with depressed mood can also experience the same symptoms. It is beyond the intention of this posting to address these other conditions but will be discussed at another time.

When I wrote above that I am "grateful" to be able to assess a person face to face, I truly meant this. Depression is treatable. Statistics claim that women are twice as likely to develop depression than are men. Based on the gender of my clients, I suspect that this statistic is true. However, men are also less likely to admit that they might be suffering from depression. Woman are more likely to attempt suicide but men are more successful.

PLEASE!!!!! Even if you are feeling "a little blue", or if a friend, a colleague, a family member gives you some feedback about a change in your behavior, promise me that you will at least talk to your primary care physician. If you do not have one, turn your insurance card over and call the number for behavior health services for a referral. If you do not have insurance, there are community mental health services in your county that can offer you services. MOST IMPORTANT - if you have thoughts of suicide, please go to the nearest Emergency Room for an evaluation. Please promise me that. I may not know you or the extent of your grief or your stressors. But I do know that everyone on this earth is precious. Life is precious. Please have faith and know that you are loved.

May is Mental Health Month

May is a very special month to me.  I am able to celebrate the birthdays of my Grandson, Andrew, my niece, Gretchen, and my nephew, Billy.  I am able to reflect on the beautiful memories of my youngest son, Andy.  I am honored by family on Mother's Day.  And, very importantly, I am able to discuss mental health issues.  Tomorrow designates the beginning of Mental Health Awareness Month.  I believe that knowledge is power.  Join me during the month of May for topics and discussions on mental health issues.    

My Final Journey

I was recently asked to be an Inspirational Luminary on www.Inspiremetoday.com.  The request was to write a 500 word essay in response to the following question. "If today were your last day and you only had 500 words to share, what wisdom would you want to pass on to humanity? What have you learned that matters, and what doesn't?"

Since my use of car metaphors has been successful in helping others prepare their own “chasses” for life’s journeys, it is not at all surprising that I turned once again to my own car interior to find needed inspiration.  So, here are my words of wisdom.

If my journey were to end tomorrow, I would take comfort in knowing that, despite the impending storm outside, I had full control of my steering wheel and my control panel.  Why would this be reassuring?  Well despite the hazardous driving conditions, a fate certainly out of my hands, peace of mind would come with the knowledge that I am the pilot or driver of my soul.  A winding road and skidding tires would not dictate my final hours.   My navigation skills would serve as my guide.

My safety belt is on.  I am not going to throw caution to the wind and become disinhibited.  I will remain true to my beliefs.

My rearview mirror is playing a movie of my life.  Yes, there were some unhappy memories, but far fewer than my joys so I take pride in having used each road block as a detour to follow a better path.

I’m certainly not going to pull over to the next gas station and get tanked.  I want my final memories of my life to be vivid.  I want to cherish every friend, family, and acquaintance that crossed my path.

My gear is in drive, not reverse and my foot is going a bit below the speed limit.   After all, I will never pass this way again and I want to remember each cloud, each flower, each red barn.  A calf sucking on its mother is a thing of beauty.  Why did I never see that before?  A tear of joy forms in the corner of my eye.

The air conditioner and heater are off.  The windows are open.  I feel gentle rain and smell a clover-scented wind as it tosses my hair.

My glove compartment is basically holding the contents that were included since the assembly of this old, or should I say classic, model.  All that were necessary was a birth certificate or registration to validate my existence and my owner’s manual that assisted me in reaching out to my fellow man.  Whether it was a smile or a wave to a stranger, or a kind gesture to give up my right of way, the manual defined my essence.

And then there is the roadside assistance button.  Oh, come on.  We all have one.  When the going gets too rough and none of our car features are providing comfort in our final hours, then just push the button and say a prayer.  This particular device can bring immediate relief.

As I reach my final destination, I apply the break and reach for the ignition.  However, my navigator’s voice instructs me to look up to the sky and peer through the clouds.  As I turn off the ignition, I see a rainbow.

Adult Autism

Were you aware that today is Adult Autism Awareness Day? I have often paid attention to certain days of the year, designated to honor certain individuals or celebrating food. Before I became vegan I could recall National Ice Cream Day. Did I honestly feel that it was imperative to eat my way through a quart of Ben and Jerry"s? Well of course I did. The next day should have been devoted to National Guilt Awareness because I was certainly embracing that one. However, when it comes to our mental and physical well-being, there are certain days I feel compelled to pay homage to. And today is no exception. When I was in elementary school, none of my peers were ever evaluated for ADHD. They were referred to as underachievers or classroom disrupters and they suffered the consequences of this ignorance among educators and parents. And then there were children who stood apart from the crowd. They may have been spotted in the playground, standing alone with an inability to relate, an inability to look you in the eye. They may have been labelled as "odd" because of ritualistic or repetitive behaviors. What if these special individuals were suffering from undiagnosed autism? Today there is a plethora of information on autism. Pediatricians and parenting books have improved the diagnosis of autism in children. But diagnosing adult autism is more challenging. These individuals have been living with this disorder and have developed their own coping mechanisms to try to "fit in" and, unfortunately, mask symptoms. Adults may not be able to provide a complete physical or developmental history of childhood years, complicating matters further. The purpose of today's post is to provide information to those individual's wondering if they, or a loved, has autism. Common symptoms are listed below. Please note that having one or two symptoms does not indicate a disorder. But an adult having several symptoms may be a cause for concern. - Difficulty forming friendships or relationships: When one is afflicted with language limitations and idiosyncratic behaviors, it is difficult to develop meaningful relationships. And when an autistic adult has inability to understand nonverbal cues, how can they ever hope to be successful in pursuing a romance - a relationship very dependent on reading the nonverbal behaviors in another. - Verbal communication difficulties: 40% of individuals diagnosed with autism may nay never be able to speak and are completely nonverbal. Those adults that can converse often have difficulty in processing thoughts into spoken language. It is difficult for them to make their needs known or to maintain a conversation. - Non-verbal communication difficulties: As noted above, relationships are hampered by the impairment in interpreting facial expressions and gestures. - Lack of empathy: Many autistic adults have the inability to understand what other people might be thinking or feeling. This lack of appreciating another's perspective again interferes with developing relationships. - Preoccupations: Adults with autism are likely to have very limited interests and may be extremely knowledgeable about certain subjects such as history, word-origins, etc. This hyper-focus presents many challenges. - Sensory processing difficulties: This over-sensitivity or under-sensitivity to sensations such as smells, sounds, sights, and other input can cause an autistic adult to avoid social situations. - Repetitive behaviors: Some autistic individuals repeat words, phrases or behaviors which provides a sense of comfort. It is predictable and under the control of the individual but does not serve a purpose. - Need for routine: Examples of this behavior include a refusal to try new foods, following the same schedule day after day and having increased anxiety and discomfort when this cannot be accomplished, inability to change plans, and obsessive/compulsive type tendencies. - Savant tendencies: I always remember the movie "Rainman" when Dustin Hoffman demonstrated the skill seen in approximately 10% of autistic individuals. - Insomnia: As many as 70% of autistic people have problems with sleep secondary to sensory issues. Though this symptom is not diagnostic of autism, the disorder is more likely if other symptoms are present. - Anxiety: A common problem in adults with autism, it can present as temper tantrums, depression, obsessive/compulsive tendencies and poor concentration. The above individual symptoms can be common in the general population, but if you are able to identify several characteristics in yourself or a family member, then please consider consulting a professional such as your family doctor or a psychiatrist for further assessment. Please be reassured that you do not have to suffer needlessly. Treatment is available and can improve the quality of your life.

Keep Your Inner Engine Running Smoothly

Keep Your Inner Engine Running Smoothly
By Elaine Campbell, M.D.

I’m going to jump into this article full throttle and make a rather bold statement. I am willing to bet that the majority of us take better care of our cars than we do ourselves.

Are there any doubters out there? Well, consider this. Do you respect the gas gauge as a courteous reminder to refuel the tank or do you play Russian Roulette with the dipping arrow and hold out as long as possible? Hey, maybe you have a 2-gallon gas container in the trunk for such emergencies and don’t mind the endless miles of walking, often down a poorly lit road in some God-forsaken country.

What about oil changes? Some autos give a countdown in miles to the next required service check. For the majority of us, math classes in high school did serve a purpose and we can manually figure out the recommended visits to the mechanic. We call and make an appointment or hop into Jiffy Lube to save some time and money.

So, here’s my point. How many of us had a nutritious breakfast to start our day’s journey? Although most individuals admit that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, about 25% of adults will skip it. They missed an opportunity to refuel, to break the fast, to prepare their mind and body for whatever lies ahead. The result? Mid-morning we find that we are not running on all cylinders, both mentally and physically. Come lunchtime we may be tempted to overeat or choose a high carb or fat entrée to satisfy the empty tank.

Be prepared for the midday slump. The insulin surge needed to provide glucose to your body has now plummeted, taking your energy level with it. I no longer have my English-born grandmother to provide a cup of caffeinated tea at 4PM but she sure knew how to revive my engine.

I must confess that becoming a grandmother caused me to re-examine my eating habits. It also did not hurt that Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn, world-renowned surgeon and spokesperson for a plant-based diet, lives in my hometown. I have embraced this healthy lifestyle and, in addition to my mental wellness coaching, have become Director of Food and Nutrition at the Lu-Jean Feng Clinic in Pepper Pike, Ohio. I have developed a lifestyle program that essentially follows the warning; Genetics loads the gun but your lifestyle pulls the trigger.

Has my new way of eating changed the way my inner engine runs? Absolutely! My devotion to eating a well balanced diet of vegetables, fruits, grains, and beans has revitalized me. If anyone told me that I would feel younger at age 62 than I did at age 26, I would have laughed and continued with my poorly established habits. Afterall, little research was devoted to how one’s diet could reduce the risk of developing cancer, heart disease and diabetes. Now, with all the evidence in place, especially with Dr. T. Colin Campbell’s findings in The China Study, I have a duty to inform my patients of the ability to reverse risk factors of several disease states just by changing the way they eat.

So, will eating plant-based foods rev your engine? Well, that’s part of the maintenance plan. Here are some more tips.

Don’t just idle your life away. Exercise on a regular basis can promote physical as well as emotional well-being. Just as a healthy, whole foods, plant-based diet can reverse certain risk factors such as cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and certain forms of cancer, an exercise routine has been scientifically proven to improve mild to moderate depression.

Although I am a psychiatrist and am capable of getting out the old prescription pad, I have come to believe in the benefits of certain holistic approaches. Exercise can improve mental clarity and energy levels. And when combined with a healthy diet such as the one I follow, weight loss and improved self-esteem are sure to be added benefits.

Do you wait for the yellow warning lights on your dashboard to move you into action? Well, if you waited too long and the cost of repair is more than trading her in for a newer model, you elect to buy a new chassis, right?

Sorry! We don’t have the luxury of trading ourselves in, do we? So why wait until the warning signs of poor lifestyle habits such as obesity, fatigue, poor concentration, depression, high cholesterol, development of high blood sugar, and a family history of cardiovascular disease and cancer force you in to action? Ignoring these warning signs and signals may accelerate certain disease states, or worse, end our journey prematurely.

Give yourself a lifetime guarantee to improve your physical and mental health by following these four lifestyle changes:

1. Eat healthy. For me, a diet based on vegetables, fruits, grains and beans has made this old model-T a revitalized auto. I feel like a Bentley.
2. Incorporate exercise into your day. Don’t idle or sit in the garage. Get out and enjoy life. I get more miles to the gallon now.
3. Pay attention to the warning lights. Never let symptoms of impending road breakdowns catch you off guard. Keep up with maintenance. If problems become overwhelming, seek roadside assistance from your doctor.
4. Remain optimistic. Keep stressors at a minimum if possible. Happy motoring promises to bring joy to your life.

By incorporating these suggestions into your lifestyle, you will soon be able to appreciate your own Blue Book value.

And so, my friends, I leave you with this travel wish. May all of your journeys be blessed with purring engines and smooth roads. And may back seat drivers be kept to a minimum!




About the author:
Dr. Elaine Campbell awaits the release of her first book, My Life as a Car – a Mental Wellness Guide in your Glove Compartment. Inspired by the lack of a preventative and holistic approach to mental health, she uses car metaphors to describe the development of common disorders including depression, anxiety, and substance abuse. Her hope is to diminish the stigma associated with mental illness and to encourage us to examine our own GPS system (genetics, psychological defenses, and social stressors). Having lost her 19-year-old son to an accidental drug overdose, she is also dedicated to fighting drug and alcohol abuse in teens and young adults. She is a Mental Wellness and Lifestyle Coach at The Lu-Jean Feng Clinic (www.fengclinic.com). She has two adult children, Peter and Molly, a wonderful daughter-in-law, Shirin, and a son-in-law, Jeremy. The love of her life is her soon to be one year old grandson, Andrew. She resides in Gates Mills, Ohio with her husband and two Labs.